The reason it's important for me to post my thoughts here is that ever since I left religion I've felt disconnected. I used to have such a large community of people that had the same background as I did and who had the same beliefs. That was a very comforting thing. Anyone who's had the experience of being part of a church community knows what it's like to walk into the building and feel kinship with people you don't even know on a personal level. You were connected with so many people - but those connections were built on the assumption that you believed all of the same things they did. When you no longer believe then that connection is gone. I think that's part of the reason so many people are afraid to leave the church - it's a very lonely experience.
That community connection is very hard to replace. Since I've left I've developed relationships with friends and colleagues outside of the church community, but for me there's still something missing. I think part of it was that my prior religion was so interwoven with my culture. We were all Egyptian and we were all Christian. I think I've done a reasonable job of filling the "beliefs" void by finding like-minded atheists - but its as if nobody can understand the whole of me - it's only half. Never in my life have I met anyone who grew up in my culture, walked my same road and has come to the same conclusions. I'm not conceited enough to believe that I'm so special that I could be the only one. I know there must be more out there. Maybe they're too afraid to admit publicly who they are? Maybe it's hard to find each other because we don't congregate in a church anymore so we'll never encounter each other?
To any formerly Coptic atheists out there, I'm here and you've found me. Let me know you're there.
